WTF????

So today, I am going to talk about what has been weighing heavily on my mind.
My estranged husband whom I have been separated from for over a year all of sudden "wants me back". My first thought was seriously. Its like don't get me wrong, I still care about him and I loved what we had, but do I want him back? Its like I have a lot of resentment towards him. For 8 months I have been out of work, bill collectors calling all the time, car almost getting taken, and my cell phone is always off then on, and this B.A.N. (bitch ass nigga) ain't do shit. I would have to beg him for some freaking gas money. No calls to say hey mrsgetitbytch how you doing, do you need anything? He threw me to the side of the road and didn't look back. I hate him for treating me like that. Who does their wife like that, separated or not? I know and he know that I would have never done him like that at all. I deserve someone that loves me unconditionally and will always be there for me in my time in need.

Now don't get me wrong, I tried to make it work. I was quoting bible scriptures to him, asking him to spend some time with me, and calling just to see how he was doing. I had moved past all the things that happened between us that lead to our separation. That is a whole other post. At one point, I felt like a salesman, because I was trying to sell our relationship, trying to sell me to him, when he should have wanted this all along. So finally I got with the program and just accepted the fact that he didn't want me or the relationship.

Now here he comes with the I want you backs and I can't see myself without you and I want this to work crap. Really........ I am at a lost, I don't know what to do. Do I just take it day by day? Is this relationship really worth it? How do I know that he won't do it again? Why now? Why he didn't want it when I wanted it? I just don't know if I can be with someone who treated me like that, it is unforgivable in my mind and how could he ever make it up to me?

I have a lot of thinking to do.

Deuces................