I gave my number out today. If you recall, I wrote a post about this guy calling me a cougar. You can read it here. Anyway today he asked for my number and I gave it to him. As the day went on I received text message after text message. I couldn't respond fast enough. After all that, I kind of hate that I gave my number away. All those text messages just got to be annoying. I do have to remember that he is young, 22 to be exact.
I normally don't give my number out. I usually just take their number and never call. So me giving my number out is pretty rare. When I do give my number out and they call or text I get annoyed real quick. Like why are you calling or texting me? Weird I know. If I talk to them, I always make up an excuse to get off the phone, and today when he was texting I was giving one worded answers. To top it off when I go to the gym tomorrow, I will see him. Oh well.....
So today is Day #1 in my little blog challenge to myself. The challenge is that I will blog for 7 days straight. That's not hard, right. I know 7 days isn't a very long time.....baby steps people. You got to take me slow.
Ok, so today's topic is 10 Interesting Facts about mrsgetitbytch.
1. I love reality TV. I had always wanted to do reality TV, especially Big Brother, I honestly think I could win. I watch all types of reality though, from Flavor Flav, Survivor, Real Housewives, the Kardashians. I can go on but I won't because if its reality I am sure I have watched it at least once.
2. I like to dance. I'm not gonna say I'm the best, but in my mind I am. In my mind I can drop it low like no tomorrow, and the booty bouncing up and down. LOL. When I was little I used to want to be a video girl. I used to learn the routines from the video and perform, who am I kidding I still do it. I took ballet, tap, and modern dance lessons growing up and lately I been having a desire to do it again.
3. I love Chipotle. Chipotle is my go to place. A few years ago, I was eating it everyday. The cilantro lime rice, the whipped sour cream, and the guacamole. I even gave it a nickname, Potle'. Everybody I go with always say that I give them a hard time, because I always want extra. My point is,the food is not coming from your house, so if I am asking for more, please just pile it on. Just writing about that Potle' makes me want some right now.
4. When I watch a movie, I want it to be super quiet. One of my friends thinks its weird, but I just want to pay attention. I don't want to miss anything. I get aggravated if someone starts to talk. My family knows this, but people like my momma, just don't give a damn.
5. I hate roller coasters. Just the thought of them makes me nervous. I only rode one in my entire 30 years of living. One time, I was on the ride, in the bucket with my sister with the lap bar in place and all of a sudden I lost my nerve and squeezed out of the bucket. My sister was so mad. Get this, it was a kiddie roller coaster. My nephew and cousin who was younger than me rode with no fear.
6. I also hate driving on the freeway. When I first started driving I wouldn't go anywhere near it, but lately the freeway and I have become acquaintances. Where I live the freeway is the way to go. My friends make fun of me, because I always know the way to go on the street. I only drive certain freeways. It takes me longer to get there on the street but I don't care. The freeway just makes me nervous, my hands start to sweat, my heart start to beat fast. Its crazy I know.
7. I like to decorate and make gift baskets. I can be creative. One of my best baskets was a gift card basket for my BF birthday. I wanted it to look like a flower pot with the gift cards being the flowers. It came out better than I thought. She still has it set up the same way I gave it to her. :-) I wish I had a pic to post.
8. I don't like to wear socks or closed toe shoes. I like my toes to be free. Its weird because in the winter my feet get cold but I don't want socks on.
9. Besides reality TV, I also like to watch any show dealing with cops and murders. I love all the Law & Orders especially SVU, Criminal Minds, Without a Trace( I know it doesn't come on anymore but I watch the reruns). You get the point I like cop shows.
10. I love to karaoke this one particular song, After the Pain by Betty Wright. The song is like 6:45. When my friends and I used to go karaoke a lot, whenever it hit me, I had to do this song. One time, I even joined some strangers on stage to sing the song, they just wasn't singing it right. You have to sing this song from the heart. On that note I am going to leave you with my favorite karaoke song.
This weekend was pretty good. On Saturday, I woke up early and went to a Zumba class with my BF. It was really cool. I have taken a Zumba class in the past but didn't like it because I didn't like the teacher. This teacher was energetic and working it. I was thinking I want my butt to move like that, maybe it will if I continue to take her classes. I also had to take my mother to the ER on Saturday as well. She's fine. Her ankle was swollen, the doctors didn't know why, they sent her home in a splint and prescription Motrin. I went home with a headache.
On Sunday I went to a new weightlifting class at the gym called BodyPump. It was a good class. It was hard because you worked every muscle group for 5 minutes straight with no breaks. I was sweating up a storm, when it came time for lunges my legs were shaking. I am still feeling the effects today. I also went to visit my grandmother in the hospital. She is such a strong woman. She has proved the doctors wrong. If it was up to them she would have been dead already. Prayer really works.
On other note, I haven't been keeping up with my blog. So I decided to give myself a blog challenge, because of the holiday I will start next week. Stay tuned.
Do you know what I mean when I say 2 cents? You know when people give you unwanted advice. That is a pet peeve of mine. For example, I have been out of work for a hot minute. Its a lot of folks who got shit to say, you know, "if I was you". If you was me, what? What would you do? You can say a lot when you on the outside looking in. I honestly believe that those folks who are telling me, "Girl just get a job" will not take the jobs they are trying to get me to do. SMDH
I have finally come to the conclusion that I don't have to answer to anybody. What I do is my business, if I am not asking you for any money or you not donating any money then your opinion really don't count. How I spend my money is my business.
So how do you feel about people giving you unwanted advice? Do you give unwanted advice?
On Saturday I went to see For Colored Girls. I was very skeptical about the movie because the reviews were not very good. Now I wouldn't call myself a Tyler Perry fan but this was a good piece of work. In my opinion I feel as if Tyler Perry did his best to stay true to Ntozake Shange's piece of work. If I had a hat I would tip it toward it Tyler Perry. If you haven't seen it, I recommend that you go. One of my favorite quotes from the book and the movie, " There is a real dead loving for you here now."
I went to see the movie with my social group and after the movie we had lunch at Mongo-The Mongolian Fire Pit. I enjoyed it a lot. I will definitely be going back. My Saturday was full of good conversation surrounded by positive people. You can't go wrong when you surround yourself with good people.
On Sunday, I was able to do one of my all time favorite past times, which is painting pottery. My BF and I used to go all the time but we just stopped, I don't know why we stopped but we did. When it comes to painting pottery we are so lame, we become so anal or should I say I become so anal its ridiculous. I decided to paint a plate and a coaster. I tried new techniques on both pieces. I hope they come out flyyyy. Here are the before pics.
I like flowers, as you can tell from the above pics. After painting pottery went we to have dinner at a cafe. I liked the cafe a lot. My dinner was delicious. It was very good. I always enjoy the time that I get to spend with my long time friend. Hopefully my friend and I will be able to do one of our favorite past times more often.
All in all, this weekend was good. It was relaxing and laid back. It was so what I needed.
So,there is the guy who works the for gym that I attend. He is so cute to me. Anyway we never really had a conversation. Of course I told my bf about him and she was like talk to him. So, yesterday when I walked in he instantly started a conversation with me. We were talking and flirting. During this time he made a comment about what I was wearing and I said I should come here more often dress liked this if you gonna say stuff like that. Once I made this comment he proceeded to walk over to the computer and he said, only if I was 5 years older, I'm only 22. He thinks I'm old. After that comment I changed the subject and made my exit. I told my friend about it and she was like he thinks you are a cougar.
What are thoughts of cougars? Older women and younger men? Plus, when did people start seeing 30 as being old?
Another tidbit.......
I have a male friend, lets name him Cook Boy cause he likes to cook. Anyway Cook Boy and I pretty good friends we hang out but the thing is, is that he wants to be more than friends. We have discussed this on several occasions and we came to an agreement that we would be friends. Ok, so fast forward to today we are having a conversation about my hair and he proceeds to ask me if I shave, I respond with no I don't that is what my beautician is for, he says no not that, you know what I am talking about. I got extremely angry by this comment. I was like that is none of your fucking business. We are suppose to be friends and friends only, I don't answer questions like that from my friends especially male friends. Did I over react? Maybe, maybe not. Thoughts or comments???
Deuces...........
Monday, September 27, 2010
I was so sad this morning so I decided to take a walk, and on this said walk I grew very angry and all that sadness went out the window.
Today would have been my five year wedding anniversary. It would have been a total of 13 years that we would have been together. I'm a little sad. It hurts that we are no longer together. Legally we still are, but emotionally, physically, or mentally we are not. I have been thinking about him a lot lately. All the fun we used to have together, experiencing new things together, there was a time when I just wanted to be in his presence. When we were happy, we were happy, now we don't even talk. I'm feeling a little down.
I am honestly confused as to why I have a blog. I love to read blogs, I read them all the time, some I read everyday, but why is it I have a blog and don't blog. I have all these blog topics written down and they never end up on this blog. It baffles me.
What is failure? According to the definition failure is the condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends, one that fails, the condition or fact of being insufficient or falling short, or a decline in strength or effectiveness. I have only mentioned part of the definition, it goes on. I mentioned the part that I feel describes me. This is how I feel right about now.
Failure has always been a fear of mine. You always want to succeed in whatever you do. Most people know how to handle success but how do you handle failure? Even when you have people around you that genuinely care, what about those times when you are alone with your thoughts. I constantly think about that I am about to be 30 years old, with no job, no husband(we are getting a divorce), living at home with my parents, with no income. Am I a failure because of those things? In my mind yes. I feel like I have failed myself, failed my family, and my friends. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for my family and friends, they have both provided support in more ways than one. The feelings still linger.
Whats crazy is while typing this post, I was browsing the net and came across this scripture: Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of the present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
WOW, I got chills just from reading that.
This feeling of failure is only temporary. It shall pass.
That's what I keep telling myself. Just breathe...... I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I feel overwhelmed. I am trying not to think about it but it stays in the back of my mind.
I have to go to court tomorrow for a ticket I got like 2 weeks ago. This is my first ticket, my perfect driving record has been ruined.
Last week my computer caught a virus, the power supply went out, and it cost a $100.00 to get it fixed. I got it back and its acting funny to me. This woman is going to make me show up to her door.
On a happier note, I met someone new. I don't know where it will go. I have decided to just enjoy it while it last. That all I can do, right.
This song has been on repeat in my head all day long. I don't want to miss him. That's why I told my girls that I wanted to go out tonight. I need to free my mind.
On another note, I have been neglecting my blog. I need to do better, much better. I will, I promise.
How do you know when to let it go? How do you when its time for someone or something to leave your life. I'm talking in general whether its a friendship, intimate relationship, or maybe an item you just can't part with.
My problem is that I know I need to let go, but I'm afraid of letting go. Either I'm afraid or just don't want to.
I have a friend a person I have been friends with for 6 or more years, and now things have really changed. I have changed as a person and she has not. She is so negative most of the time and she is one of those people who talk about what they want but don't really strive to get it, like where is your motivation? I have out grown her. It took me losing my job to get a new outlook on things. I think about things so differently now, I appreciate my friends and family more, and I know just how strong I am.
Its funny because I started this post on Saturday and told some really good friends of mine about what I wanted to write about Saturday night, went to church on Sunday and the pastor spoke about this very subject. He spoke of letting go of old habits, old entanglements, and old expectations. He said that to let go, all you have to do is take that step forward and keep moving.
How do I take that step without feeling guilty about it? Should I feel guilty about it? That is a flaw of mine, beating myself about anything. Why should I feel guilty if I know that in the long run this is going to make me a better person.
Its time for me to take that first step, I'll make sure to let you know how it goes.
So today, I am going to talk about what has been weighing heavily on my mind. My estranged husband whom I have been separated from for over a year all of sudden "wants me back". My first thought was seriously. Its like don't get me wrong, I still care about him and I loved what we had, but do I want him back? Its like I have a lot of resentment towards him. For 8 months I have been out of work, bill collectors calling all the time, car almost getting taken, and my cell phone is always off then on, and this B.A.N. (bitch ass nigga) ain't do shit. I would have to beg him for some freaking gas money. No calls to say hey mrsgetitbytch how you doing, do you need anything? He threw me to the side of the road and didn't look back. I hate him for treating me like that. Who does their wife like that, separated or not? I know and he know that I would have never done him like that at all. I deserve someone that loves me unconditionally and will always be there for me in my time in need.
Now don't get me wrong, I tried to make it work. I was quoting bible scriptures to him, asking him to spend some time with me, and calling just to see how he was doing. I had moved past all the things that happened between us that lead to our separation. That is a whole other post. At one point, I felt like a salesman, because I was trying to sell our relationship, trying to sell me to him, when he should have wanted this all along. So finally I got with the program and just accepted the fact that he didn't want me or the relationship.
Now here he comes with the I want you backs and I can't see myself without you and I want this to work crap. Really........ I am at a lost, I don't know what to do. Do I just take it day by day? Is this relationship really worth it? How do I know that he won't do it again? Why now? Why he didn't want it when I wanted it? I just don't know if I can be with someone who treated me like that, it is unforgivable in my mind and how could he ever make it up to me?
Wow, its a whole new year, where did 2009 go? I can't say that I'm sad to see 2009 go. 2009 was rough, not just for me, but for a lot of different folks.
The year ended and began with me spending time with those I care about. It was good times, maybe I will post a pic later.
This year, for 2010 I decided to do some New Years Resolutions. I believe that these resolutions will help me grow and become a better person.
#1 Stop being negative (I want to make a conscious effort to be positive, I want to focus on the positive of every situation instead of going straight for the negative.) #2 Be Happy (For the longest, I have allowed others to determine my happiness, now I want to be the originator of my happiness.) #3 Get a Job ( I have been out of work for 8 months as of today, I need and want a job badly.) #4 Exercise (I want to make an effort to exercise on a consistent basis. I usually get in an exercise phase where I exercise all the time, then I stop. )
I have never been the one to keep resolutions but this year will be different. I believe that 2010 will be a good year for me. People will see a new Mrsgetitbytch and they will either love me or hate me. This year is about me starting over, me getting to know who I am.
This blog is a personal one that will discuss all my ups and downs, my pending divorce, meeting new people, my search for a new job and figuring out who I am along the way.
I went to see the movie with my social group and after the movie we had lunch at Mongo-The Mongolian Fire Pit. I enjoyed it a lot. I will definitely be going back. My Saturday was full of good conversation surrounded by positive people. You can't go wrong when you surround yourself with good people.
